if you could eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be and why
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Salad. Because think about it, salad can mean anything. You can have regular salad, but there’s also fruit salad, potato salad, so who’s to stop you from having pizza salad? Ice cream salad? Chicken nugget salad? all you have to do is cut it up and there you fucking go it’s salad.
wait this is really smart
if you could eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be and why
Salad. Because think about it, salad can mean anything. You can have regular salad, but there’s also fruit salad, potato salad, so who’s to stop you from having pizza salad? Ice cream salad? Chicken nugget salad? all you have to do is cut it up and there you fucking go it’s salad.
wait this is really smart
Say hello to my Eeveelution frozen cocktail menu!
Eevee: cake vodka, Kahlua, Bailey’s, chocolate eclair ice cream bar, chocolate syrup
Vaporeon: rum, Malibu, blue curacao, pineapple juice, Sprite
Jolteon: tequila, red bull, margarita mix, lemon juice, Sprite, salt on the rim
Flareon: fireball whiskey, peach schnapps, iced tea, lemonade, dash of strawberry syrup (for color)
Espeon: strawberry vodka, Hpnotiq Harmonie, Chambord, cranberry juice, Sprite
Umbreon: bourbon, coke, lemon juice, orange juice
Glaceon: rum, blue curacao, peppermint schnapps, lemonade, soda water, sugar on the rim
Leafeon: tequila, peach schnapps, lime juice, ginger ale, mint, honey and a drop of chocolate syrup for decoration
Sylveon: cake vodka, strawberry vodka, Bailey’s, strawberry shortcake ice cream bar, cream, strawberry syrup
fucking oh god
FUCK I WANT
Seriously I want to have a nerds night out with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks alike and just yeah. I’d need money for it though hmmm.
WHOA EXCUSE ME
Behold the most disgustingly aggressive display of Americanness
I’m just picturing some dude sitting at the dinner table, his assault rifles propped up in the other chairs
“Can you pass the salad, Mom?” he asks the AK-47, but she doesn’t pass the salad
She never passes the salad
“Hey Mom, can you pass the salad?”
“You always do this to me, Mom.”
I’m laughing uncontrollably
Son of a gun
D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes
mindchildofmadness submits:
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
(Source)
If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead
listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again
smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables
n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians
this whole post got me in tears
at a restaurant while u high like
"can i order this"
"would you like a soup or a salad?"
"WHATS A SUPER SALAD"
D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes
mindchildofmadness submits:
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
(Source)
If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead