*wakes up from coma* “tell me I dont have a unibrow”
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ppl who are like “hm I think the last time I cried was like 2 years ago at my grandpas funeral” are surreal to me like they’re just on a different plane of existence that I cannot achieve like if I’m in the cafeteria and they don’t have cinnamon toast crunch that day I might/will start snifflin